After lamenting that they missed their chance to perform in the Michael Jackson medley at Sectionals, Mercedes, Santana and Brittany back-up Blaine on “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin.”
It’s been 72 hours since Finn proposed to Rachel and the clock is still… ticking. Blaine inadvertently leaked the MJ song set to Sebastian, as the Warbler captain declares war over which show choir gets to perform the King of Pop’s songs. Puck questions Blaine’s loyalty to New Directions (“Clearly once a Warbler, always a Warbler… You’re like a modern day Eggs Benedict.”) as the club try to answer the question, “What would Michael Jackson do?” Answer: perform a rendition of “Bad” in the parking lot, which ends with Blaine writhing in pain after he gets slushied by his former friends. As a result, his right cornea is scratched and needs surgery.
The kids refuse to turn the other cheek, telling Schue, “When they tease us and throw stuff at us and toss us in dumpsters, and tell us we’re nothing but losers it freaking hurts.” The usually mild-mannered Artie uncharacteristically tells his teacher, “I want to hurt them the way they hurt us,” before getting out of his wheelchair to perform “Scream” with Mike. Rachel seeks Quinn’s advice on her “double problem,” as her frenemy shares her ticket out of Lima – an early admissions letter from Yale. The blonde advises Rachel that if she wants everything she’s ever dreamed of, she’s going to have to dump her quarterback. Quinn sings “Never Can Say Goodbye” as she nuzzles her cute ex’s – Puck, Finn and Sam. Kurt (“Prancy Smurf”) and Santana (“Auntie Snicks just arrived on the Bitch Town Express”) devise a plan to beat Sebastian the Criminal Chipmunk in a non-violent manner.
After reminding her that they never performed a duet together, Sam and Mercedes serenade each other on “Human Nature” and seal the song with a kiss. Burt and Kurt share tears of happiness as the younger Hummel finds out that he has neen named a NYADA (The New York Academy of Dramatic Arts) finalist. With tears streaming down his face, the mechanic tells his son, “You beat them all. They threw everything at you… but you’re unstoppable. I am so proud to be your dad. You won.”
Rachel, Kurt and Finn “bring a little bit of Michael” to Blaine, as they sing “Ben” to their patch-wearing buddy. Sebastian reveals to Santana that he never intended to hurt Blaine; in fact, the slushie was meant for Kurt. After performing “Smooth Criminal” cat-and-mouse-style (with the duo 2Cellos) he reveals that there was rock salt in the drink, before throwing (a less dangerous) one in Santana’s face. Little did he know that the suave seductress caught him on tape admitting his dirty deed, as she had affixed a recorder to her “underboob,” (“If Kurt would have taped to his junk, I would have never heard the end of it. We would have had a whole week of songs about it.”)
Finn “re-proposes” to Rachel with “I Just Can’t Stop Loving You.” She falls for the stunt, telling her beau that she will indeed become Mrs. Finn Hudson. N.D. tells the Warbler that they are tired of the backstabbing and fighting. Schue’s kids throw in the towel (Puck: “This is what we call taking the high road, which I was shocked to find out has nothing to do with marijuana.”) and close out the episode with “Black or White.” With the exception of their leader, the navy suited boys join McKinley’s songbirds on stage in a rousing finale. Rachel finally gets some good news of her own – she’ll be joining her bestie Kurt in the Big Apple as another NYADA finalist.
Written by Susan Gernhart
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